January 2012
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I met with a counselor yesterday, and it was really nice to talk to someone outside of my inner circle that can relate to what I’ve been going through. I miss him all the time. I would give anything to hear him say, “Hey, Chena” to me one last time. She tried to explain what my parents were going through. You lose a child, and suddenly the world stops. Nothing makes sense...
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I’ll never forget the feel of his frozen skin beneath my fingers. Or how hollow his chest felt when I placed my hand on it, no warmth and no heartbeat. This might seem morbid, but I miss that. At least I could see him before me. Difficult to determine how the body appears nowadays. It’s thoughts like these that have me lying awake when I should be sleeping.
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What a fantastic turn of events! My 8:30 class is cancelled tomorrow morning, so I can sleep in and finish my assignment before my 11:20 class.
MmmMmmmmmMmmhhhmmm, gon’ sleep.
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fuck my butt
my flash drive decided to stop working, MONEY DOWN THE TERLET
internet is slow as FUCK
this is post
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Watchtrichechidae:
Year of the Dragon | Sufjan Stevens
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“And this is what living next to a waterfall is like, Safran. Every widow wakes...”
– Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer (via thechocolatebrigade)
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Beethoven here I’m come!
I’m going to become even more obsessed with the cello now because I have one at school that I get to practice whenever I want oh goodness this is exciting. This sweater smells so good. Happiness.
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Dream.
I was talking to Katie about something, and some girl walking past got offended by what I said and tried to start a fight with me. We went outside into a parking lot and a big crowd circled us, and I said, “What if we just danced instead?” She was a tiny little thing, and she picked me up high off the ground and swung me around. Then I picked her up but couldn’t get...
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There’s a strange girl vomiting in my toilet?
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Seven thirty in the morning, I wake up and remember that I dreamt about you again, and a lot of people were dying and we were all crying, crying, crying.
(I won’t say who, but it wasn’t nice for me to see the people I love so hurt.)
You were with us, even though you weren’t, and at one point you ran away and we chased after you, to make sure you were okay. I think you just...
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Watch
I had a good long cry with my mom last night. Perhaps this will be the first day this week that I don’t cry. Yeah, that’d work for me. I don’t enjoy being so vulnerable in front of people, no matter who they are and how much I trust them. But sometimes I just get so goddamn sad and there’s really nothing much I can do about it. Being at school for too long is really...
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trichechidae:
Sufjan Stevens | Say Yes! to...
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Watch
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I apologize for my occasional depressing post. Today has actually been pretty good so far. Woke up feeling lovely, gave two lessons to the greatest eleven-year-olds ever, and now I’m about to eat some wheat thins and watch The Office, aw yeah.
Being dead sounds like the best thing. I’m really tired of feeling this way.
“I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer (via fleurishes)
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“Years of unceasing meditation have taught him that life and death are at bottom...”
– Zen in the Art of Archery by Eugen Herrigel
I’m gonna get into such good shape this semester. I can do pretty much whatever I want in Aerobic Fitness. So I’m just gonna run my ass off in there every other day. Hell yes, I’m so excited.
Just got back and am sweating like a fool. Shower time.
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Life is indifferent to my wishes.
If I’ve learned anything in my stupid little life, it’s that you shouldn’t get too comfortable when things look good. Because they will never stay that way. Things will turn sour, and then that, too, will pass. There will be moments of terrible ache and moments of absolute happiness. I live each day as it comes, and I never know what...
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fuck
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My heart breaks for people.
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My mom finished Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close last night, and we’re going to see the new movie together when it comes out. Now she’s moving on to Everything is Illuminated.
So strange. My mom never reads this much.
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“My dad believes in God, I think. I’m not sure if my mom does. I don’t. I have a...”
– Dan Radcliffe, Parade Magazine (via mslonelyhearts)
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Another cover! I’ve been listening to Fleet...
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After I gave a private lesson today, I recognized a woman coming out of the next practice room as Amado’s old cello instructor, and she’s in the symphony. I remember one time when she was at the house giving Amado a lesson when he was thirteen and I was eleven, and I was watching Spongebob in the next room. I ran out of the room singing a song from the episode and ended up interrupting...
I’m just going to post the last thing I’ve written thus far. It’s taken out of context, but it’s the only thing I’m willing to share at this point.
She woke up to the sun’s beams and the feel of a hand on her shoulder. She looked to her right and Stefan was there, sleeping, a person’s most peaceful state. His arm fell over her, so she turned into him...